A sequence of Anger (I love love so much I hate it).

When there's nothing to loose
I'm always loosing you.
When there's nothing to think,
You appear in my head.
And baby it's been so hard,
to get by this last week.
Yeah it's been oh so hard,
to realize the way you feel.
Everytime I come out,
well, I then wanna get it.
I'm tired of wasting myself away,
people seem to be happy when I'm like this.
I've been such a mess,
yeah I've been a threat to myself.
Oh babe, I really think I was.
I hardly can't be these days.
They come out to you with open arms,
you're so lost you can't get a thing.
What's wrong with everybody?
Can't they see I'm not me?
And darling it's so hard,
the fact that you won't talk to me.
Yeah baby it's so hard,
you'll never know it.
And "crisis" is not good enough.
'Cause after some years's plain madness.
And sure I'll be fine like always.
But damn I wish you were with me.
************************************************************
and this is aching
and iam broken
and hope is running
and this is falling
and i wish you die
and i wish you saw me
and i wish i could be
and you wish i could be too
and the pain's spreading
and the pain's hurting
and the pain's killing
and the pain's done with me
and you all seem to be laughing
and you al seem to be happy about me
and you all can fuck off now
and you all can choke on your sweetness
and im tired
and im lonely
and im crying
and im nothing
and im nothing
to you
im nothing
************************************************************
The "oh so beautiful" mess iam.
The fact that people are always worshiping shit.
I didn't get into this to be grumpy about shit.
I'm not gonna go crying over your fucking shoulder so you can sympathize me.
I'd rather break something and then be pitiful on my own fucking hurt hand.
I guess I really don't expect anything from anybody anymore.
And to my surprise...nobody's suprising me. Uh. Who knew?
Fuck them all, but I need you so much.
I wish I could take it out like some bad drawing you made on yourself.
Get some feeling eraser soap.
'Cause this isn't pretty, I'm not an "awww sweetie you're hurting but you felt" kinda girl.
I fucking hate being distroyed to tiny pieces, so tiny you just can't fucking put it together anymore.
Can't you fucking see?
Damn I've been signing to you people, with my bare hands up on the air, for 5 fucking years!!! What the fuck is wrong with you?
And I don't give a shit I sound like "everybody else 'cause all of us felt the hurt of love", you know?
And yes, of course I'll end up this shit saying' I don't give a fuck when I do, 'cause I'm so tired of having to admit myself to myself, when I know that's not good.
Blah.
This is pointless.